denyce: (DA: Logan Cale)
[personal profile] denyce
Title: Goutte à goutte, l’eau use la pierre
Author: Denyce
Fandom: Dark Angel
Pairing: Alec/Logan, implied previous Max/Logan
Rating: PG-13 language
Summary: Logan begins to worry waiting on Alec and Max's return from a mission.
Word count: 3,119
Disclaimer: Not Mine! I don’t own nor make any monetary value! Borrowing characters strictly for fanfiction to share with other obsessive fans intended for harmless enjoyment.
Spoilers: None post Freak Nation
Warnings: FrProverb!verse is a WIP *Hangs head* Yes, yes this is a dreaded WIP. I’m sorry, if you prefer don’t read it, but you’ve been forewarned. Thought I’d be done in three, seems my muse lies! As this is part 3, this is not the end of the FrProverb!verse
Notes: First a big hug and thank you! to [livejournal.com profile] daria234 for the beta :) And to [livejournal.com profile] snarkgoddess *smooches* ;) The title another French proverb, the translation: drop by drop water wears away a stone (i.e.: time and patience yield results)
This continues from: Il faut qu'une porte soit ouverte ou fermée

part 1
part 2





She had somehow allowed herself to lose sight of what was important. Of what she had always held sacred above everything else: to protect her unit, her family. She’ll willingly pay for that mistake, but she’ll be damned if she wouldn’t do everything and anything to rectify that mistake. She only hoped it wasn’t too late.

*~*~*~

Cell in hand, Logan flipped it open. His thumb hovered over the redial button as he held his breath —but then he flipped it shut.

Logan couldn’t stop himself from glaring at the time- hoping it would display a different number. They should have called and checked in over three hours ago. Anxious with worry, Logan closed his eyes, inhaled then exhaled. The knots in his stomach tightened, he couldn’t shake his feelings of dread. He forced himself to sit down, and he stared at his cell, willing it to ring. Logan swallowed hard, trying not to fill in the ever-expanding possibilities of whys he hadn’t heard from either of them.

His voice strained in desperation Logan demanded from his cell, “Damn it, call me!

Opening it, his finger hovered, then impulsively hit redial. He suddenly held his breath as it started ringing on the other end. By the fifth ring it went to voicemail, just as it did the first three times he called.

Flipping the cell closed, the hollow trepidation in his gut solidified, knowing something had gone wrong – horribly wrong.

Standing again, Logan started to pace, forming a plan. He’d wait five more minutes to the top of the hour and then he’d call in the Marines- well, Asha and her crew. He’d pull in everyone he could to backtrack and find them. Logan shook his head, trying to understand what might have happened. It was supposed to be a relativity low-key mission: nearly routine, just a pick up and retrieve. The most difficult aspect was his informant wrangling the time and location. In the end, it was Logan who arranged the meet, choreographed the details—did he fuck up? Endanger them? Max? Alec? The club wasn’t great, a seedy, hole-in-the-wall, S&M-wannabe be bar. He had gotten a pass through the back door for Alec to pose as an employee. Max would have to hang back. She was too recognizable as a X5 even without a collar, not to mention as a woman, since it was an all-male club. Alec would have the in, and could work the bar to wait for their skittish informant. It should have been an easy doable exchange. Alec should have only had to wait a short period of time before their mole arrived then for Alec to serve him a drink. A quick sleight of hand, then they should have gotten the hell out of there. If everything had gone according to plan, he’d now be plying Alec with food before Alec became his main course.

Thinking of Alec, Logan’s heart accelerated. There was no doubt he had fallen in love with Alec, he just hadn’t known to what depth. He wasn’t even sure when it happened. Initially it was Max, had always been Max.

From the moment he met her, she had more than intrigued him, everything from her stealth and flexibility to her intelligence, and street smarts. It was all contained within a beautiful package, attributes that didn’t even scratch the surface of who she was. In the beginning, if nothing else, Max was a mystery, an enigma. The more he discovered about her past, about Manticore, the more he fell. As attractive as Max was, initially he had only wanted her help. After seeing her abilities in action what she possessed, what she was capable of doing, it outweighed everything else. The chance to really make a difference in helping others was too enticing. Then, after the accident where he got caught in the crossfire -- that’s when things changed. That’s when he finally obtained her help, even though if he was honest she was doing it out of guilt. Not that it mattered at the time, after he weighed the big picture.

In fact, he egged her on, used it to his advantage. They bantered, played, and continued to flirt. No doubt, there was a physical attraction, had been from the beginning, but after the accident, he was the one who wouldn’t let anything go beyond the teasing. He wanted it – her, the possibility of what they could be, enough that it influenced his decision about the surgery. Afterwards Max gave him her blood. It had saved him, and gave him back his life; ironically he could thank Manticore, because they created Max -X5s- as universal blood donors. It did more than save his life; it actually started to heal the nerve damage to his spine. The end result was, he started to have feeling within his limbs and to have real movements.

Max had made that happen. With time, their friendship grew and a bond started to form in which their flirting and playful banter turned heated and rife with meaning. The spatial distance between falling in love and actually being in love seemed non-existent with Max, and at the time, Logan believed the intensity of his feelings was mutual.

Logan couldn’t deny that Max loved him, but in hindsight after the virus he discovered the harsh reality that Max’s love -- her understanding of love -- was capped to a certain point. It was something he was blinded to and didn’t recognize prior to the virus, even after they were forced to stay apart.

When it came to Max, everything about her and around her had colored his judgments. He had discovered the full depth of his feelings for Max when he had held her body and thought she had died in his arms.

She didn’t die, but that didn’t change the experience of how Max’s presumed death had devastated his world. He had continued on, fighting the good fight. Trying to bring down the corrupt -Manticore- because that’s who he was, but he was a hollow and empty shell of who he was before, of when Max stood there by his side.

When she came back, they only had a kiss before the virus kicked in and kept them apart. From there things spiraled into a painful longing. He ached with want – had thought she was just as distraught over the virus. That it explained her hostility toward Alec, her distance, and the pensive stares she’d throw his way - too often to count. Once he felt her heated gaze he’d look up to catch Max flustered where she’d mutter something along the lines of that she had to blaze - leaving him alone only to guess what her feelings and thoughts were, and why they made her run off so quickly.

Logan thought he had her figured out, had even told her once, that when he first met her she had been ‘…just looking out for herself. No responsibilities, no entanglements...’ but he had mistakenly presumed his presence in her life had given her those entanglements. An anchor for friendship, connection, intimacy, love, and partnership- he had offered his heart, his hand, and his life to stand with her against Manticore. After her resurrection, he had believed, wanted to believe that her distance from him was because of the virus, because it was too painful and precariously dangerous to be around him.

That was something he believed for a long time, as things between them remained the same. There was no doubt they were close, had toughed things out, remained friends. At the end, when Terminal City was exposed, and transgenics were made public, they even started holding hands, making use of thin disposable latex gloves. He had thought it was a new beginning, that they were going to fight to be together. But later he realized it had been only been a claim of friendship.

That became clearer to him when Max went into heat. Ironically they had just entered into negotiations to keep TC, to turn the toxic hovel of a junkyard into a sanctuary for transgenics. Max’s difficulties started shortly after talks were initiated, and true to her nature she started fighting against instinct. At the time, he had no idea why Max was fidgeting as badly as she was until after Alec arrived. It was easier to figure out when Alec zoned out, nearly drooling as he watched Max’s every move before he made a hasty exist. Afterwards, Max gave in to her body’s need and took the Mayor’s aide to her bed.

When he remembers back to that day, though, it’s only through hindsight that he actually connected the dots. Back then, on that particular day when she had gone into heat—he recalls the men Max eyed with undisguised interest, and it pained him when he wasn’t among them. Though at the time he had dismissed it by telling himself that it was because of the virus, that Max wouldn’t have allowed herself to go there.

Now though, even if Max doesn’t want to face the truth, he suspects the reality was what Max instinctually already told him: that she was never as physically attracted to him as he was to her. In retrospect, he now believes Max had put him up on a pedestal, a treasured adolescent first-love – of what she believed, had daydreamed of and thought love was. Had idealized, wanted, and needed as a romantic first-love. He definitely wasn’t the same person she picked to go rolling around with while she was in heat. What finalized it for him was overhearing Alec and Joshua who had unintentionally revealed the truth, as they discussed the merits of females in heat. What Logan discovered was that Max typically had gone into heat of 3 to 4 times a year, her cycle pushing to mate more if she fought against the biological urge.

They were never together during that first year, yet she opted to be intimate with other men over being with him, and somehow held on to the lie she told him, herself - that it was to keep him safe. There might have been some truth to that, Logan had no doubt he was special to Max, loved and cherished even. But what was also true was that Max’s feelings, her level of commitment, just wasn’t coming from the same place he was.

He never told her what he suspected; instead he allowed the virus to eclipse any chance of them being together. This time when they had their distance, Logan stopped creating excuses to see and be around Max. He didn’t overtly ignore her, but at the same time he no longer went out of his way to see her as he had before. He needed time, to readjust and essentially mend his broken heart.

Whether Max suggested it or not, suddenly Alec became their go between. They weren’t exactly friends, but they weren’t enemies either. If nothing else Alec was jovial, animated, and compared to Max, extremely talkative. It didn’t take long before he and Alec had settled into a routine, and were together shooting pool most evenings. After a short span of time Logan realized how much he enjoyed being around Alec – that at some point they had become friends.

However, with Max it soon became clear she had moved on, when after one of her heat cycles she kept seeing her partner, and she couldn’t deny the fact when he actually moved in with her.

Outside of friendship, what had been between them hadn’t been for a long time, though it didn’t mean it hurt any less.

The weekend hadn’t even started and Alec was there, offering to take him out; plying him with drinks, distracting him with the multitude of single women available. It worked; they bonded even further, solidifying their friendship. Logan couldn’t stop the small grin from lifting the corners of his mouth at the memory, when he thought of Alec’s magnanimous smile as Alec declared and took credit for the fact he got laid two weeks later.

Before that, he and Alec had spent a lot of time together, but afterwards they were nearly inseparable. Alec was intelligent, entertaining, curious, flirtatious, and all-in-all fun to be around. After months together, Logan found it odd, especially since they were all but joined to the hip, to find that Alec swung both ways. Not about Alec’s sexual preferences, but just more to the fact that he didn’t know. They had been going out playing pool, going to clubs for months, and not once did Alec show any indication that he’d be interested in anyone not of the female gender.

Logan never asked, and never questioned. Admittedly Logan was slow at making the connection, and it pains him to remember how many men Alec fooled around with before Logan bought the right vowel.

He should have seen it sooner -- all of the men had similar physical characteristics and Logan’s build -- but he didn’t. What cinched it was walking up behind Sketchy, who was watching Alec on the dance floor doing a dirty bump and grind with someone Sketchy had thought was him. Sketchy had even raised his glass and muttered a toast to them that it was about fucking time. After Sketchy swallowed and finally noticed him standing there, well, subtle wasn’t one of Sketchy’s best qualities. Sketchy’s eyes bugged out as he darted them back and forth between him and the guy on the dance floor. It took Sketchy more than a minute to process that it was him standing there and that the one out there publicly dry-humping Alec was a double, a-Logan-a-like.

It was another long minute of awkwardness before Sketchy slinked away, leaving Logan to his thoughts.

It wasn’t that Logan had never thought about it before – he had, Alec was too pretty to have never thought about -- but up until that point he had never taken it beyond what it was, a fleeting fantasy. Even then he didn’t actually go down that thought train until that first guy - after he had walked in the back to where the pool tables were only to witness Alec making out with a guy. Logan stood there in shock for several long moments before high-tailing it out of there. That night his fleeting fantasy exploded. In retrospect that was nothing compared to what he felt finding Alec with his doppelganger. The fact was, he should have known right-from-the-get-go, that Alec was interested in him.

It was on that night when things changed, and he finally made a move by cutting between them. Up close he could see his doppelganger was a dead ringer minus the glasses. Unfazed, almost jovial, Alec started to introduce him to the guy, something Denozo, Logan didn’t care. He barely acknowledged the guy; instead Logan turned and cupped Alec’s face, pulling him in for a deep heated kiss.

How long they stayed like that Logan couldn’t say, but by the time they came up for air his doppelganger had gotten the hint and was gone. That was their first night together, a first of many. Initially they were close friends who, as Alec often said, had hot monkey sex. Logan doubts he had ever thought of Alec as only a fuck buddy or a friend with benefits, and if he did it was fleeting. The reality was, once they were together physically it didn’t take long for Logan to realize he had crossed that line from friendship to being in love. With Alec, Logan had fallen hard, and where he wanted nothing more than to be with Alec all of the time.

Suddenly his cell rang out, breaking his train of thought. Logan’s eyes drifted to his cell, and before it finished the second ring, Logan had it in his hand and flipped it open. “Alec?”

“Logan…” It was Max, her breathing labored. A cold, dread spread through Logan’s body as he listened. “We’re gonna need Carr, I need you to call him to meet us at your place.”

Logan’s heart accelerated as he silently repeated his place. “Max, where’s Alec, is he…” he stumbled as the words lodged in his throat at the thought.

“Alec’s hurt, we need a doctor, Carr.”

Fearful and dazed, Logan could only ask, “The hospital?” He had been straining to hear Alec; instead he heard the audible sound of Max swallowing. Even through the phone Logan felt the tension, heard Max’s voice quiver almost childlike when she spoke. “Can’t, he’s locked in a collar… I’m so sorry Logan, I…”

Logan blanked out; he couldn’t have heard correctly, a collar, Alec? Logan’s mind was spinning, as he could hear Max’s choked apologies… his breath halted as he repeated, Why, why would Max apologize? It didn’t make sense… none of it did. He needed Alec, and Alec was hurt. Thankfully, that thought brought Logan some focus in order to react. “How far are you? I could come get…”

Sniffling, Max replied, “No. Stay, we’re almost there, ten minutes maybe. I’m so sor…”

Don’t! Just bring him home Max…” angrily Logan flipped the phone closed. The word alive almost slipped out, but he refused to think the worst. He wanted to rip himself a new one, already feeling like he had failed Alec. Instead he pushed himself to focus on what needed to be done and inhaled, then slowly exhaled. Then, without delaying any further, he reopened his cell and scrolled down until Sam’s number appeared and hit send. He was lucky when Sam picked up. Remembering to code his message, Logan started to ramble and effectively whine that he needed to see Sam, that the pain in his leg wasn’t phantom pain, or a cramp.

Sam acted appropriately disgruntled and appeared reluctant in his response, but after a few moments agreed to come out and see Logan right away. As Logan hung up, he started pacing, thankful he remembered to disguise his message. Too many government agencies were tapping medical personnel, and though Sam wasn’t dispensing or trafficking drugs, it was best to keep Sam’s generosity and knowledge about helping transgenics off the record.

From their coded conversation Sam would leave immediately and be here relatively around the same time Max said she’d be here. Why’s screamed in Logan mind, why was Max apologizing, why was Alec hurt? Why the fuck did does he have a collar on? And Alec didn’t talk -- that could only mean that he was unconscious. How badly was Alec hurt? Logan shuddered when he thought about it. Fear gripped Logan’s heart as he started to envision the worse. As his pace increased with each worried step, he was nearly hyperventilating as he glanced at the time. The second hand slowly inched by, his heart sinking, knowing there was nothing else he could do but wait until Max arrived with Alec... Needing to hear it out loud, pushing himself to believe, Logan voiced to the empty room, “unconscious but alive.

TBC~

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January 2017

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