denyce: (SGA: McShep-worth the risk)
[personal profile] denyce
Title: Yearnings Bound in Friendship
Author: Denyce
Fandom: SGA
Pairing: McShep/Carson
Rating: NC-17
Summary: For the [profile] atlantiskink challenge, details are as follows: I'd like to see something involving bondage (collars/leashes in particular) with some light d/s, possessiveness, and some biting is a definite plus. If Sheppard is in it, dog tags are a welcome addition. With a happy ending, & no non-con. I pretty much like McKay with Beckett and/or Sheppard and/or Zelenka.
Warnings: Kink & anything/everything that applies under that umbrella: Bdsm, toys, spankings, rimming, Top! Carson, 3some…
Spoilers: Somewhere in early S2 before Runner
Disclaimer: Not mine; no infringement on any rights is intended. This is not for profit & is intended only for enjoyment.
Notes: Special {{HUGE}} thanks goes out to [livejournal.com profile] evesharmony & [livejournal.com profile] jenra for their beta skills & their divine patience, MUCHO LUV!! Lastly, ANY mistakes are mine & mine alone!
FB/concrit: All accepted loved & adored.
Cross posted on [profile] atlantiskink



“You ready?” John asked as he stepped into Rodney’s lab and made his way over toward his scientist. A halfhearted grunt answered.

Slightly frustrated, John frowned and mentally dug in his heels as he nodded a quick hello toward Radek then wordlessly confirmed that whatever project Rodney had attached himself to wasn’t critically serious. At Radek’s grin, John returned the smile and inclined his head toward the door to silently let Radek know they were leaving, now.

“Come on lets go,” John, announced as he grabbed Rodney’s arm.

At first Rodney couldn’t hide his annoyance at being disturbed. “What now?” At John’s raised brows and blatant look of exasperation Rodney blushed as he looked at the time, adding, “Oh.”

“Yes, oh,” John stated, as he firmly grabbed Rodney’s arm and started to usher him out of the lab. Less than five feet out Rodney nervously pulled back, forcibly slowing them down, and started to ramble waving his free hand about as he talked. “Maybe we shouldn’t you know… not now.” At John’s look of dismay, Rodney nodded, “No no, not that… I just---You know I was in the middle of deciphering the schematics on the flux capacitor. To reconfigure the coil systems that we’d bypass…”

“Rod—ney.”

Rodney grimaced and rolled his eyes, immediately changing tactics once he heard John stress the syllables of his name. It was an annoying habit John had picked up and effectively used to argue or stress his point. Though he only really had to worry when John stretched his name out into three and four syllables, or for certain tones when he just snapped out his last name.

Without pausing, John continued to pull him forward sliding a hand down his arm to clasp within his own hand until they were walking side by side. Not breaking his stride, John tilted his head toward Rodney and out of curiosity asked, “A flux capacitor? Wasn’t that something from ‘Back to the Future’?”

Preoccupied, Rodney easily answered, “Yes. Yes.” Unwittingly, his hand that wasn’t holding the Colonel’s started to move in time with his words as he unconsciously kept up to John’s steady pace. Not bothering to hide his aggravation on the subject, Rodney continued. “Simpson’s idea. She’s got a fetish for renaming technology. Namely ripping off various terms from movies whenever she first gets her hands on something new.”

John smiled in amusement as he watched Rodney’s hand wave about; Carson was right that he’d find something to occupy Rodney’s mind and his enviable case of nervousness. Now he only had to worry about his own nerves. The tip of his tongue peeked in and out over his lip as he remembered Carson’s confidence in his abilities to prepare Rodney. Refocusing, John prepared to further distract his scientist and innocently asked, “And you let her?”

Indignant, Rodney answered, “It’s not a matter of letting! Watching movies, or the ones she’s most familiar with was never in my top ten list of things to do, so by the time I, or Radek, discovered her insanity the names had already stuck.”

John laughed. “Yeah not like it’s tech speak from a Trek flick.”

“No it wasn’t, but I’ll have you know I’ve watched and enjoyed more than just ‘Trek flicks’ as you so kindly called them.”

“Not arguing there. Let’s see... TV—first the original, then Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager, Enterprise, and their movie counterparts. Have I got them all? Oh wait there’s also Star Wars.”

Annoyed, Rodney conceded, “Yes, but I’m interested in more than sci-fi for my entertainment value”

John smirked and added, “Oh yeah Jeopardy and let’s not forget the porn.”

Rodney huffed and was about to return a scathing remark, but John interrupted before he could defend himself. “Don’t bother, I’ve seen your vast collection.” Suddenly John stopped in front of Carson’s door; at the soft swish of the door sliding open John gently guided his lover into the room, and whispered under his breath, “And enjoyed watching most of them with you.”

Blinking several times Rodney stood frozen in the middle of the living area finally realizing where they were and the events that were going to take place—only this time with Carson. Panic set in; blue eyes quickly darted around as he anxiously held his breath expecting to see Carson walk in at any moment.

Thinking the door locked, John stepped closer until he held Rodney’s rigid back firmly flush against his front. Hands quickly started to gently rub down Rodney’s arms before winding around his waist and leaned down to nibble on an earlobe and whisper, “He’s not here—yet. It’ll give us plenty of time to get ready.”

Relieved, Rodney slumped back into John’s embrace. Rodney’s mind tried to process the news as his emotions contradicted each other and ranged from relief to disappointment and back to anxiety. John only made it more difficult as he deliberately set his hands to work and continued to caress, sooth, and manipulate Rodney’s body. As a last desperate attempt, Rodney mumbled, “Maybe we should go… another time.”

John barely paused, ignoring Rodney’s nervousness with his continuous ploy to physically distract his geek with each lick, nibble, and bite from ear and neck before stating, “Mmm no.” Fingers outlined and gently palmed Rodney’s slowly increasing arousal. Confident, John continued to lightly stroke the growing outline. Small gurgling noises escaped Rodney’s throat at the constant maneuvers; a heady combination of lips and tongue playfully attacked his hypersensitive neck while simultaneously the magic of John’s hands squeezed and pressed his arousal in minuet rhythm.

Pleased by the uninhibited sounds Rodney was making, John’s arms clutched Rodney tighter and pressed his body closer, his need to fuck Rodney almost overwhelming his actions. With some hesitancy John stilled his hands; his breath quickened before he forced himself to inhale slow and steady. A mantra of ‘control, one step at a time, control…’ filled his mind to remind himself not to blow the plan, painfully anxious that he might upset or fail Carson’s wishes. Suddenly John swallowed a yelp when Rodney pushed back against his own evident arousal.

Quicker than he thought possible John dug his fingers into Rodney’s hips, forcibly stilling his movements. Once he regained a seemly amount of self-control, John eased the pressure only to alternately caress and rake his fingers up and down from hip to thigh before they trailed a dance over the hard swell of Rodney’s cock. Consciousness of his desire seemed to ebb and then flame more distinct than ever; his need flared as fingers deftly undid Rodney’s pants.

Cool air bathed Rodney’s shaft before John’s long firm fingers wrapped around and squeezed. Murmuring incoherently Rodney jerked; thrusting hard into John’s hand while his own hands clumsily reached around and grabbed John’s hips tightly. Instinctively Rodney rolled his hips back to press and rub hard into John’s shaft, silently communicating exactly what he wanted.

John’s body stilled, refusing to lose control, or give into Rodney’s silent demand to fuck him. Instead he thought of Carson; of how his long fingers would tenderly pet and caress over John's backside, or of Carson's soft lyrical voice, the Scottish inflection that fired John’s excitement with each whispered word as he’d quietly demand that John hold his position; of how in-between breaks, Carson's cool hand would stroke soothingly over his hot flesh before he’d rain the paddle, whip or his bare hand down on John’s ass.

Carson's words danced in John’s head, ‘Be a good lad, you’ll bring him back here… get him ready…’ Unconsciously John nodded at the memory. Long moments passed where he just held Rodney in place, taking deep breaths and trying to regain his composure.

With one last shuddering breath John was determined to follow Carson’s orders and switch the tables by engulfing their scientist in mindless passion. With renewed resolve John pressed his cock back harder into Rodney, and slithered a free hand up Rodney’s shirt until he reached his goal. Fingers fanned over a hard nipple and in a feather-light, almost too gentle caress massaged one, then the other. Rodney’s body arched back, and he loudly exclaimed, “Oh God!”

John grinned and pulled him closer, slowly increasing the friction they both needed. Gripping slightly tighter, John’s hand slid up and down Rodney’s shaft, his thumb swiping across the head on the upstroke before twisting his wrist and sliding back down in a firm grip. The moment John halted Rodney immediately reacted, his body moving in need, fucking himself on John’s hand. Huskily, John whispered, “That’s it, Rodney, let yourself go.”

Rodney stuttered, 'More!' at the sound of John’s gruff voice. Heavy breathing filled the room as their excitement increased. Rodney whispered and repeated in frantic hushed tones, ‘Oh God, yes, please!’ At John’s encouraging words Rodney responded and abandoned the last of his anxiety, no longer caring where he was, if he sounded pathetic or too needy under John’s talented hands—it had been too long. Dizzy with need, Rodney compliantly gave in and closed his eyes basking under the assault of pleasure John was creating.

Relieved that Rodney finally submitted and went pliant within his arms; John moved in a bold rush. Sliding his hands to anchor around Rodney’s hips and waist, John tightened his grip. He scrambled to move them further into the room and use the wall for support. With his back supported, John’s hands immediately went to work to remove their remaining clothes before he obediently returned to his ultimate goal—to ready Rodney for Carson. From the corner of his eye John noticed movement then looked over and smiled as he realized he could easily see their reflection in the large floor to ceiling mirror that hung adjacent to them.

Staring directly at their reflection, pupils dilated, John gazed adoringly at his lover’s debauchery, delighted that Rodney had stopped thinking and started only to react, his body moving in pleasure to John’s softest touch and whispered word. Rodney’s mouth hung open mumbling a jumble of incoherent words, ‘Yes, please…’ being the only thing that stood out. John watched as his long tan fingers skimmed over and around Rodney’s sensitive nipple, his abdomen already taut only to shudder in anticipated need before John’s hand fanned lower teasing and enjoying the feel of those muscles clenched beneath his touch.

John audibly swallowed as he watched their image and felt Rodney’s reaction to his touch. His own need heightened as he continued to stare at his fingernails while they scraped downward toward the hot flesh of Rodney’s shaft. Dark and heavy in arousal Rodney’s cock almost waved in greeting. The hooded head glistened with wetness; John licked his lips and didn’t bother to stop himself from moaning in desire, or from using a vise grip as he pulled Rodney back, squashing their bodies closer in order to grind and slide his cock over the cleft of Rodney’s ass. John gasped in delight as he felt Rodney happily respond and start to roll and grind his hips back in rhythm to John’s own forward thrusts, adding the friction they both needed and desired.

John wanted nothing more than to abruptly turn and slam Rodney against the wall and sink to his knees. With more mental exertion than he would have wanted to admit, John closed his eyes and concentrated on Carson, silently reprimanding himself to stay with the plan. With great effort John resolved to ignore his instinctive need to kneel— to taste and swallow Rodney’s shaft to the root. As much as he desired Rodney right now, the reality was he needed and wanted both of his lovers together, and that meant sticking to his plan.

To distract himself, John glanced away from Rodney’s cock only to notice his large limpid blue eyes were candidly staring at their reflection. Startled by what he saw, John’s mouth curved in tenderness at Rodney’s innocent display of desire. John didn’t want to think about how long it had been, but three weeks of conflict between his lovers was an eternity he never wanted to repeat. Quietly, they stood there openly appraising each other in the mirror, emotions of desire, want, trust, and love reflected in their eyes.

Long moments passed before John eased his grip from Rodney’s hip and shaft, and returned to a gentle caress in an attempt to ebb their impending climax. Using only his fingertips John moved to delicately trace one and then the other pulsing vein of Rodney’s hard cock. Even with the slightest touch Rodney whimpered and twitched within his arms. John licked, then firmly bit down on his own lips almost drawing blood. A blatant reminder to control his primal instinct and not throw Rodney down and fuck him ferociously. Granted they both needed to be fucked, but the point was he was supposed to stick to the plan, a plan that he was increasingly having a difficult time following through with each second.

It was the continual tease of small intimate touches that sparked Rodney’s imagination and rapidly brought him into the right submissive ‘headspace’ with a commitment of raw lustful need. Absolute trust and vulnerability lay open to John’s affectionate gaze. It still amazed him the depth that Rodney was able to give of himself. Through half closed eyes darkened with desire, John’s gaze never left Rodney’s mirror image, watching as his fingers eased further down and proceeded to cup and caress Rodney’s sacs. At the same time he licked and nibbled on Rodney’s earlobe, whispering longingly, “God Rodney, you’re so beautiful like this…”

In answer, Rodney uttered a guttural sound from deep within his chest and his body bucked and pushed back aggressively, grinding his ass hard against John’s own swollen member—desperate with want and need. Quickly John moved his hand up and tightened his fist over Rodney’s hard, pulsing cock. His other arm tightened, anchoring Rodney in place as John rocked forward, fingernails busily raking over the taut muscles that rippled beneath his touch before he paid any more attention to Rodney’s oversensitive nipples.

Heady over the sight before him in the mirror, John growled possessively. Small nips took on a harder edge as teeth scraped roughly over Rodney’s jugular marking his skin. Mindless in need, Rodney inclined his head to allow John easier access; his breath hitching in-between moans of breathless passion and continual murmurings of, ‘Yes, yes, yes…’

Ecstatic over Rodney’s submission John bit down and sucked hard on the skin. A moment later he released his hold and raked his teeth over the bite before biting down and sucking once more. At the same time, John’s grip on Rodney’s cock tightened and pumped using strong steady strokes, his throat dry and raspy as he demanded, “Rodney, come for me…Now…”

Instantly, Rodney arched back, his body quaking in pleasured relief within John’s arms.

John watched through hooded eyes as Rodney’s body quivered and rode out it’s own orgasm. Moments later, Rodney slumped back into John, his body depleted from the intensity of his orgasm. John’s breath hitched, and he closed his eyes and concentrated on relaxing and ignoring his own orgasm—knowing it would please Carson. With slower deep breaths, John quietly nuzzled his lover, immensely pleased with how his plan was proceeding.

Now with Rodney pliant, and his first orgasm out of the way, John couldn’t help but grin in high hopes for the rest of the night.

~*~*~*~*

Dazed and euphoric, Rodney still wasn’t sure when or how John got him into the shower except that hot water cascaded soothingly over his body. Half way slumped against the shower wall, Rodney was barely aware when the door opened and John joined him.

Rodney observed through lowered lids as John stepped fully under the spout soaking his hair thoroughly flat before tilting his head back. Eyes closed, John reached up to change the water temperature from hot to cold and twisted the end nozzle to the highest setting to allow the multi facet showerhead to pulsate hard against his back and chest as he turned.

Rodney smirked and giggled inanely before he spoke. “You’re a masochist.”

Opening his eyes, John laughed in return and grinned wickedly. Moving rapidly he reset the temperature before dragging Rodney under the showerhead with him. Though now hot, the water continued to pulsate and pound down hard onto their skin. Almost in rhythmic beat to the shower, John rained small bites that alternated with kisses covering up, down and around Rodney’s jaw line.

Between panted breaths John eyed his handiwork before he huskily asked, “And is that a problem?” He licked and played with one mark, nipping and pulling the skin sharply before proceeding to define another mark.

Each purplish bruise received a delicate kiss before teeth slowly scraped over one then another. Automatically Rodney’s cock twitched at the erotic play as John continued to switch tactics, going from butterfly kisses that alternated with long sensuous licks to the blunt contrast of hard bites that pulled and vacuum sucked on his skin.

Rodney whimpered over the thought of how the marks would look—hickeys, large dark bruises marking him as John’s. Each possessive nibble telegraphed pleasure straight toward Rodney’s groin. He groaned louder and pressed himself closer with the conscious purpose of accepting John’s mark. His throat hoarse and slightly more wanton than he would have liked, Rodney answered, “No.”

A deep guttural, sound echoed within the shower stall; hesitantly John pulled back and slightly out of the path of hot spray to look at his lover. Thrilled, John couldn’t suppress his wide grin especially when Rodney insisted he continued and suddenly tried to pull him back with whining bouts of protests.

Instead John focused on Rodney’s lips, inching closer until his own lips were only a hair’s breadth away. The tip of John’s tongue stretched to lick a delicate trail over Rodney’s faintly swollen lower lip. A lick that turned into a nibble, only to be slightly pulled and gnawed between his teeth, lasted a few seconds before he started sucking furiously on Rodney’s lip.

Rodney sobbed, his shaft already reawakening with interest. What he needed, wanted, was to be fucked now. He surmised that John had to be following Carson’s orders otherwise he wouldn’t have waited this long to come or to fuck him. Whatever their full plan was, Rodney knew Carson had to be behind it. He also realized John wasn’t unaffected, he just had to push harder and be more creative in order to get what he wanted, and what he wanted was to be thoroughly fucked through the mattress.

With that objective in mind Rodney started to execute his own plan starting with a counterattack. Once John released his tight grasp; under the guise of a kiss Rodney aggressively demanded attention by pursuing his own path over those lips and teeth and nipped them hard in a silent demand for John to open wider.

At the sharp pain John’s mouth capitulated to Rodney’s insistence, falling open to his assault. His mad scientist was, indeed, driving him mad as he systematically attacked all of John defenses. Hands moved over his wet body only to pause and grip hard enough to bruise before moving on. Their kiss was a battle, tongue against tongue dueling for dominance.

Encouraged by the coarse animalistic sounds coming from John, Rodney forcibly pushed and twisted, using the bulk of his larger body to pin John against the shower wall. His larger hands quickly grabbed John’s wrists and forced them up and over his head effectively turning the tables.

Stunned by his own reaction, John silently cursed himself for allowing Rodney the advantage. If he kept this up, Rodney would get him exactly where he wanted him—with John losing control and helplessly fucking him even before Carson arrived. Or worse, as Carson walked in.

For the moment John submitted and tried to mentally recoup. Just the thought of disappointing Carson was enough for him to fight back. He knew what Rodney’s goal was, to push him hard enough to make him lose complete control. He was close already, and any other time.... It also didn’t help that Rodney had the knowledge of knowing exactly what buttons to push; not only was he their resident genius, he was also a pushy bottom with an agenda to be thoroughly fucked.

Both grinned; their eyes dancing in excitement and enjoying the game they were playing. Still catching his breath Rodney leaned forward until they were forehead against forehead, and he was breathing in John’s warm breath. With a deliberate calculation Rodney slowed their pace as he leaned in and sensuously licked John’s lips open to devour and leisurely take what he wanted.

One of the features he loved about his Colonel was the discovery that he was a natural switch, evident as John yielded under his physical dominance. To reaffirm his new dominant position Rodney pressed forward heavily, successfully immobilizing John’s body. Arms forcibly stretched overhead, John’s eyes dilated, his breath hitched under the pressure. Rodney swallowed a whimper of excitement; his hips communicating what he wanted moved in small miniscule movements and enjoyed John’s submissive state.

Knowledge of John’s status as a switch came to light after Carson had entered the picture. Before Carson, Rodney had no clue as to the extent of John’s full desires or of the life-style and games he would come to love.

Artfully Rodney nibbled his way down to John’s neck marking a path creating his own decorative work of art. With each bite skin stretched between teeth, only to be slowly sucked. With each moan he received, Rodney’s mind started to wander and was reminded of their first time.

From the beginning they had quickly run the gambit from strangers to acquaintances, acquaintances to co-workers, co-workers to friends and then to intimate friends, all within the first couple of weeks after arriving in Atlantis. In fact, it was right after he was released from the infirmary after the incident with the entity that they became intimate. The Major had escorted him back to his room. After the door slid shut, Sheppard turned on him. The verbal lashing started, John looming closer, until the Major had him up against the wall angrily berating how insane and dangerous his actions were. Furious, Rodney retaliated, calling him an idiot. From there he reminded the Major that they had run out of options. Not to mention how disappointed they were when the shield didn’t work after Elizabeth tried to volunteer his services. John had only screamed back what he had done was stupid, incredibly brave and done without a single backup plan. Stunned by the simple fact that the Major seemed to care about what would happen to him, Rodney just stared; the next moment they were in a lip lock.

Their rough impromptu sex quickly turned into comfort sex. What they had, had been sporadic, and usually consummated after a dangerous mission or near death experience, a way to reaffirm their lives. At the same time it also cemented their camaraderie as a team, deepened their personal friendship and gradually their casual sex turned into something more.

~*~*~

Rodney was forcibly brought back to the present as John bucked against him. Refocusing, Rodney tightened his grip and forcibly nudged his knee between the Colonel’s legs, adding friction to their already volatile situation. From the unconscious moans coming from the back of John’s throat, Rodney smiled, knowing he wouldn’t have long to wait—then remembered that day. It was the first time he heard those same involuntary throaty sounds, but also when he discovered John’s true passions.

~*~*~

It was perhaps one of the most erotic moments in his life one that he continues to savor even today. It also happened to be the same day that forever changed their relationship. He had walked unannounced into Carson’s private office only to find his lover bent over Carson’s desk, ass in the air. Neither had heard him enter, as Carson stood there fully clothed. Firmly, ardently spanking his lover.

It wasn’t a shock to find John with Carson—Rodney had known they were seeing each other intimately, and Carson knew that he and John were also together. If nothing else they were honest with each other. What did come as a shock was the nature of John and Carson’s relationship.

Rodney stood there dumbfounded. The sound of Carson’s hand seemed to echo loudly as bare flesh hit bare flesh. There was no rhythm, just Carson’s hand alternately spanking one ass cheek then the other. John’s bottom appeared to be on fire a shade redder than any of Elizabeth’s shirts, or what he thought his own face must look like. It was an exaggeration of course, but it didn’t change the heated flush he felt as he continued to stare.

With each resounding slap, John’s body jumped. His fingers were white gripping the desk’s edge tightly as his body jerked with each slap. It took several moments of following John’s every move before he realized the movement was in greeting of Carson’s hand, not shirking away. Finally strange throaty noises drew his attention followed by low breathy moans that reached his ears; John wanted this.

Shock and excitement rendered him helpless, his own breath hitched in excitement.

Carson’s husky voice broke the silence as his hand continued the rapid movement. “Come for me lad, come for me now…”

Rodney couldn’t take his eyes off of John as he arched back nor could he refuse Carson’s words as he found himself obeying. For a moment the room seemed to go white. A moment later Rodney opened his eyes to find Carson staring directly at him.

Fear mixed with panic and equal portions of embarrassment only fueled him to flee.

~*~*~*~

Afterwards, at least initially, things between the three of them were awkward. As far as Rodney was concerned they were on a ‘break’. So he did what he did best when he needed to sulk—he buried himself in a mountain of work, which was relatively easy in Atlantis. It also afforded him the ability to avoid both of them.

It had taken John awhile, but the man was relentless. Once he found Rodney alone and was able to corner him for more than ten minutes he’d badger and cajole him into talking about it. Rodney honestly didn’t know what to think, but he couldn’t lie or deny that he was confused and that unexpected jealousy played a hand; he just refused to look too closely of whom or why he was jealous. The topic had become their white elephant.

The fact was they both shocked him and he wasn’t sure who had shocked him more, John or Carson. Carson had been his friend for a few years now. The same friend who for the last two years he had bullied, pushed, and aggravated just to get him to try activating various ancient equipment. Not once would he ever have thought or equated Carson as dominate. In his imagination he’d always induced that Carson was nothing but a sweet, and devoted lover. Maybe even slightly more like himself initially; a bit nervous and at times bumbling, but he certainly would never have equated that image he had of Carson with the one he had walked in on. A Carson who was not only ‘spanking’ someone, never mind it was the last person he expected, but who exuded confidence and power... It was like seeing two different people.

When he finally relented to listen, John tried to explain that it was as much a part of Carson’s nature as it was a part of John’s. John needed what Carson offered almost as much as he needed to switch. That admittance had started them off in another direction. Whether or not the spankings were just some kinky game, or if it was more— if that was what John wanted, to be dominated, if he got off on whips and chains.

John denied the chains and accused him of watching and reading too much cheesy porn. Though John didn’t deny the whips and Rodney watched transfixed when John blushed, confirming the slip. He rushed on to explain that role-playing was primarily only window dressing for the mind, that it was nice, but wasn’t the core of his relationship with Carson. It was about trust. Rodney could only stare; at the time he didn’t have the nerve, but silently wondered if switching meant John wanted to spank him.

Denial was good, as Rodney remembered turning away to hide his own blush as he thought of John taking control and spanking his ass. John had tried to explain that what he and Carson did wasn’t a game, not the way Rodney was thinking. It was more about taking care of someone, of Carson guiding him, more than it was about controlling or punishing. Rodney snorted at that comment, unable to shake either image of John’s crimson ass or Carson’s hand.

It was his secret that haunted Rodney, his confused hidden feelings for Carson that hung between them. He replayed the scene, how he just stood there, his world zeroed in on Carson’s hand then coming in his own pants at Carson’s words. For all their talk nothing was resolved. Rodney remained confused, locked in his own shame and silence, but the images lingered to fuel his dreams and make him wake each morning aggravated by the newness and unfamiliarity of his growing desires.

Ultimately, he should have felt better the way John fawned over him after that. John had even gone as far as to concede that he’d do anything within his power to ‘fix’ this. John also admitted that he and Carson had already talked. They had decided that whatever Rodney wanted they were willing to do—neither were willing to lose his friendship.

At the time Rodney wanted—John and only John. Some part of him should have felt guilty for ending their relationship; instead he’d silently argue, ‘John was mine first’, and without a fight they conceded. It was at that point that he and John became exclusive and even came out openly to a select few within their trusted circle. Even after everything John did to confirm and openly establish their relationship nothing changed Rodney’s growing frustration.

Ironically it was his continued friendship with Carson, and the man’s gentle guidance that allowed Rodney to even start wading through his feelings. Emotions, especially those attached to relationships, were never his strong suit, and though he didn’t fully understand everything he was feeling, he had started to make some headway. Particularly after he started to tackle the lingering embarrassment that still plagued him. To say he was pleased that Carson had kept the entire thing a secret was an understatement. Thankfully, John was under the impression he had just walked in and stormed out, and Rodney never corrected his assumption.

In general, Rodney preferred to pretend none of it happened, and refused to discuss it with Carson. The problem was Carson; he just wouldn’t let it be. If Rodney had been honest with himself he would have realized it wasn’t going to go away just because he wanted it to. Nevertheless Carson had his voodoo ways of getting to him. For example he continued to leave various books and even pamphlets on the subjects for Rodney to find. He had tried to ignore or at least pretend that they didn’t exist, but Carson was tenacious.

Avoidance didn’t work. Between the dreams and the fantasies that started to plague him during the day, and Carson’s continued badgering, he thought he was going to go mad. It didn’t help that Carson was also his doctor. After a week with relatively no sleep and no emergencies to rely on to excuse his errant behavior, Elizabeth cornered him and made a nonnegotiable offer: Kate or Carson.

Once Carson had his attention for more than five minutes, he simply asked why Rodney wasn’t sleeping. Out of the blue and without pause he rambled a confession—that he couldn’t stop thinking about the incident when he had walked in on Carson and John. Unable to stop himself he also admitted how much it had turned him on. That since then he had been haunted by the images—distracted every day fantasizing about it. He’d even gone as far as making up new scenarios and more importantly, he was in John’s place and John was in Carson’s. Once he finally shut his mouth, Rodney sat there mortified and dumbfounded with himself over what he’d just admitted to, of all people, Carson.

Carson only paused for a moment, steadily staring at Rodney like he could read every thought and image within his mind. With a small nod, Carson smiled and firmly answered, ‘Good.’ After a long moment Carson looked away and busied himself as he continued. ‘Now take these tonight. If you have trouble or find yourself restless tomorrow night come see me. Now off with ya,’ he said, and handed Rodney a small envelope with two pills and waved him out the door.

He shouldn’t have been surprised, but he was. Just the knowledge of his confession changed the dynamics of his relationship with John. Everything had a new spin. Before they could be physically aggressive, but not to the level John had been with Carson. Now Rodney consciously, and unconsciously, pushed John to dominate him. For him it had started out as a game, an experiment.

The novelty of it being a game soon wore off. It became more—more than he had ever expected. Thankfully John was patient. Later he had learned John’s patience and guidance was directly a result of his continued friendship with Carson, as Carson actively advised John on how to proceed. Initially he wanted to be angry, jealous, anything, but he found he couldn’t. He cared too much for Carson, and through his wise counsel, Rodney garnered benefits that were too pleasurable to argue with.

Through trial and error Rodney discovered he thoroughly enjoyed their toys and even the spankings with various implements, but it was his own submission through bondage and the submissive headspace that he got off on and enjoyed the most. Usually his mind was off on too many tangents trying to recalibrate one problem or another— his genius often taxed to solve the diverse life threatening problems that occurred in Atlantis every day.

For a while things almost went back to the status quo. Almost. The problem was when it was just the two of them, alone. John and Rodney. Though John seemed secure and quite capable of switching, Rodney couldn’t help but notice how wound-up and unhappy John was becoming. It was only once he discovered his own sub-space that he started to understand what John might be missing. That, being submissive, achieving what he had called ‘sub-space’ offered unlimited freedom, and he had forced John to give that up. He was trapped without that outlet—without Carson’s hand.

When Rodney discovered the ability to be able to let go, the gift of submitting to someone…. What he found under John’s capable hands was a serenity of inner peace that energized him. Once he understood and discovered it for himself, he couldn’t deny John that same freedom and serenity. In the end, with Carson’s help, sharing John wasn’t as difficult as he thought it would be and in return Rodney selfishly found benefits through the end result of John’s happiness.

Again it wasn’t until after seeing the marks and bruises that decorated John’s body from the good Doctor’s hands that Rodney realized and accepted the true extent of John’s darker masochist needs. Initially it was disconcerting, the depth of John’s needs. Though they weren’t intimate, Carson was overly patient and fair with Rodney and allowed him to discuss or ask any questions concerning John and their relationship.

For John and himself, they both found the desire and need to submit in their private life balanced the dominant and aggressive roles they played in their professional lives. But Rodney realized that John also needed the physical outlet to match the heavy emotional demand that commanding Atlantis placed on his shoulders.

Voodoo medicine aside, Carson; turned out to be more than an excellent friend, and Rodney’s level of respect and trust toward his friend only increased each day. Carson was someone, who always encouraged trust and friendship first; who guided and taught with a loving firm and inventive hand; who was, masterful enough to satisfy both men. Carson had a way of balancing everything—them.

~*~*~*~*

Silently John alternated between screaming, mentally singing—very badly— and playing prime, anything to keep from coming. He tried once again, unsuccessfully, to calculate when Carson would arrive. The pressure of every bite, and bruise Rodney made, was making it difficult for John to think let alone stop or move against Rodney’s bulk.

As it was, he was hanging by a thread and only hoped time won out either by the alarm he had set before they got in the shower, or Carson’s arrival.

At some point, John realized he had lost Rodney—that though he continued to move as if on autopilot the reality was Rodney had zoned out, and John couldn’t afford to have Rodney ruthlessly pursuing his goal. Not since his goal was to have John lose control. A part of him was annoyed that Rodney’s mind was somewhere else, but at the same time he was able to use it to his advantage. Now it was a waiting game, and for John it was a torturous game to not lose control or come.

His breath hitched; as Rodney’s knee shifted to a new angle. John didn’t hesitate as he bit his already swollen lip to keep himself from pushing forward.

Just over the sound of the shower John was able to make out a low beep from the other room. Banging his head back against the wall, relief flooded his system. They only had twenty minutes to get ready before Carson arrived.

Trying to steady his nerves, John inhaled then exhaled. Slowly he refocused on his lover. “Ahm, Rodney, Rodney, sto…” Lips covered his, as Rodney answered with a deep kiss.

‘Oh God, oh God, no,’ John’s mind screamed frantically as he tried to think of a way to stop Rodney, or at least his movements as he started to grind their cocks together. At the thought of stopping him, John couldn’t stop the voice that started to mock him at the irony of his situation. All of their time together, Rodney had never shown any real interest in topping or dominating John in any way. They did, and still had playful bouts of one trying to get the upper hand, but it always came back down to John dominating Rodney.

It was one of the main reasons he had started to see Carson again. What he needed Rodney couldn’t give because he didn’t switch. Though at the moment he was giving a damn good imitation of dominating.

His voice muffled, John tried to reach Rodney before it was too late. Forcibly, John cranked his head away from Rodney’s lips. Once free, he didn’t hesitate and did the only thing he could think of to bring Rodney back to the present. “McKay!”

Startled, Rodney opened his eyes and tried to blink away his confusion.

John ached from the raw desire that stared back. Swallowing he forced himself to speak, “Rodney… It’s time. We need to get ready.”

For long moments Rodney didn’t move. He just stared numbly before closing his eyes.

With the sudden release of his wrists, John eased his arms down, briefly massaging them; before noticing Rodney’s silence stretched on.

Even with his eyes closed as if he was contemplating, John was acutely aware that Rodney’s nervousness had returned. John gently cupped his face, thumbs tracing his lips down to his jaw line, his touch reassuring. Eyes closed, he drew Rodney into an embrace and asked, “Ready?”

Rodney shook his head, “No, yes… I…”

“What?” John asked tilting Rodney’s jaw up, his palm caressing. Silently John spoke through touch, each movement meant to communicate his trust and love.

John waited patiently for Rodney to finally look at him. Slowly Rodney looked up, his emotions openly displayed. Love and lust spoke volumes, but was combined in equal amounts with doubt, anxiety, and nervousness. It was the doubt that scared John and made him wonder.

Unable to voice his own fears, he pressed closer, encouraging Rodney to speak, and repeated in his own voice raw as he spoke, “What?”

“What, what…I… I’m nervous. I want this so…I just don’t want to screw this up, you and Carson, us…” The words where clipped and fired rapidly as Rodney rambled, demonstrating his true uneasiness with the situation.

Shaking his head to deny Rodney’s words he said, “You can’t. There is no screwing up, no matter what happens Rodney; you’ll never lose us. We won’t let you go. I won’t let you go. Trust me.”

At Rodney’s hesitant nod, John briefly kissed him. He reached over to shut the water off and opened the door to grab some towels.

Reflexively, John moved to dry Rodney’s body.

Though Rodney was more tentative than John would have liked, he knew they had to move forward. They had already tried to keep the sex and their relationship casual; he had even bounced between Carson and Rodney. After Rodney had accidentally walked in on him and Carson, they tried to be exclusive—with limited success. The alternative was to try a three-way. Though it was still a gamble with no guarantees to believe this would work. John believed and counted on one thing their friendship would endure.

The level of trust they had already developed from the things they faced every day was enough to secure their friendships for a lifetime. In his heart and mind Rodney and Carson were worth the risk

With sure quick moves, John briskly dried himself and guided Rodney back into the main room. Mindful of Rodney’s reaction he briefly left Rodney’s side to gather a few things.

Rodney blinked several times and blatantly looked around. Earlier he had been too anxious to take the time. Now, though he was still flustered he couldn’t deny the rush of excitement at what would take place here. To distract himself from where his imagination was leading, Rodney turned to survey the room.

With a concentrated effort he noticed it was larger than his, or John’s; more like a hotel suite. Large enough to comfortably encase what appeared to be a king size bed, a dresser under a window, and a small living area consisting of a small sofa, a cushioned chair and table.

The large mirror dominated one wall opposite the bed. Rodney almost snickered at the porniness of it then remembered watching John’s hands over his body and didn’t stop the image of Carson doing the same, conceding that maybe the benefits were not so cheesy.

Forcibly glancing away from the mirror and the vivid images it reminded him of, Rodney refocused on Carson’s quarters. Unlike his it was neat and tidy, with only a few of Carson’s personal items scattered around to prove the room was occupied. A few pictures were displayed on the dresser, one he could clearly see must be of Carson’s mother, and the other two Rodney couldn’t quite make out without moving closer; on the opposite side of the dresser sat a laptop. Draped over the small couch a tartan throw added a smidge of color, and a small pile of books sitting on the floor beside the chair. It was the small pile Rodney returned to and noticed. There was a copy of War and Peace—John’s book. Blinking several times, Rodney just stared. Seeing John’s book here in Carson’s room only reiterated that what John and Carson had wasn’t just sex.

Unnoticed, John returned from the bathroom and placed a few items on the bed before walking over to the dresser and opening the top left drawer to take out a few more items.

Apparently John said something because the next moment he stood directly in front of Rodney, smiling like the proverbial Cheshire cat. John grabbed his hand and tugged him closer to the bed and the items that lay there.

Rodney flushed as he eyed each item, but it was the collar and leash that drew his immediate attention. The softest touch of John’s fingers trailed up on the inside of his arm. The lightness of the stroke in his state only amplified his imagination.

“Help me…” John choked out. From his words it took a moment before Rodney understood what John wanted.

Numbly, Rodney nodded, as his fingers brushed across the items on the bed before landing on the coiled silver chain. Slowly he toyed with the chain. Picking up the cool metal chain and holding the weight of it within his palm; his thumb caressed the etchings before allowing the tags to clink together as he poured them back onto the bed. With a half turn toward John he waited, unsure of where to start.

Patiently John stated, “The black piece.” Without looking up Rodney’s hand automatically moved to the material John requested. It was light in weight, spandex, or a lycra-type material. They were shorts, silky like a bathing suit and very small, for someone like Elizabeth. Rodney held it up; his face displayed his confusion. “You can’t be serious. These will never fit me.”

John only smiled as he took the small shorts. “They’re not for you.”

Rodney’s audible sigh of relief was short lived and he watched flabbergasted as John bent over to step into the shorts. It only lasted a few seconds but the material there at John’s ankles looked too small to go anywhere else on John’s body. Rodney could only swallow as John fisted the material and started to pull. Just pass his knees John slowed to re-gather the material, stretching and pulling again, this time one hand in front the other in back.

John paused, this time at the junction of his thighs, and looked at Rodney who was staring enthralled. “A bit of help?”

“Hmmm, oh, yeah. What do you want me to…?” Not looking up, Rodney waved his hand about in the general area of John’s problem.

John smirked, “A wedgie of sorts. If you’ll grab the back and pull up, I’ll take care of the front.”

Mutely Rodney nodded and moved into position and grasped the shorts that were bunched together just below John’s rounded ass. As he pulled up to gather more material to stretch over John’s ass, he barely noticed the harsh swoosh of air coming from John. Three tugs later and the shorts were finally in place.

John stepped back and paused, allowing Rodney to see the full affect before he turned around.

The shorts were closer to short shorts and had to be a woman’s. These definitely were not for public display for any man let alone John; who looked he had them painted on. They curved and rode up hugging each ass cheek while the top band rode low hugging his hips. When John turned he gasped at the sight of John’s hard cock and balls trapped, the top band just covering the head. And, because he was staring so acutely, he could see the small gap where John’s cock head stretched the material out away from his stomach. Though the material was black, Rodney spotted a very small but increasing bit of shininess, a wet stain were John was leaking.

John exuded sex just as he was, but this made him a walking sex slut. Suddenly Rodney swallowed again as he realized why John was wearing it—it was one of Carson’s favorites, one that Carson had picked out as a gift for John. Only confirmed the man was diabolical in his pursuits of pleasure, though Rodney would concede it was now one of his favorites as well.

Distracted, Rodney didn’t even realize John had moved until he felt John tugging at his fingers, guiding him back toward the bed and the remaining items. Shaking his head as if to clear it, Rodney instinctively followed.

John spoke, his voice raspy as he did. “Next the chain.”

It took him several moments to register what John requested. Finally he spotted the chain, and John’s dog tags. Rodney wasn’t sure if the metal actually gleamed or if it was only an illusion of his own making as he immediately pictured the cool tags snuggled against the hot heat of John’s chest. With that image settled in his mind, he reached out and picked up the chain. The tags slid together as he fingered the chain before lifting it higher until he placed them where they belonged around John’s neck and dropped them into place.

The soft caress of John’s hand and the rough words, “My turn,” jolted Rodney out of the hypnotic haze he had slipped into.

Rodney’s gaze followed John’s movement, as he didn’t hesitate when he picked up the leather collar. John’s eyes intent on the collar he held; slow strokes as his thumb kneaded into the leather, each stroke methodic.

Mesmerized Rodney watched as John and the collar moved closer until his vision blurred. John’s hot breath only added to his excitement finally drawing his eyes closed as he felt the weight of the collar close around his neck. Suddenly hyperaware, Rodney’s senses went into overdrive as he analyzed the collar; it was an inch wide, and more or a little less than ¼ in thickness, light in weight, and the inner liner was even softer against his skin than he had previously imagined. Gradually he became aware he was holding his breath waiting for John to completely buckle and tighten the collar.

John’s thumb caressed and teased Rodney’s lips open forcing him to take a breath. The forefinger of John’s other hand repetitively caressed and stroked just above Rodney’s loosely attached collar, his words just above a whisper, “Carson’s right.”

At Rodney’s stunned look, John tilted forward, his tongue dipped in for a quick taste then just as swiftly moved away. No longer lingering, John snatched the leash from the bed and hastily clipped it into place and stepped back.

Thankfully their time was up and John was actually relieved, ready to have Carson take over, needing his strength to compact against John’s growing mixed emotions of excitement and doubt. Clasping the lead, he led Rodney to turn around and face the door. Standing directly behind Rodney, John cleared his throat and took a deep breath before he spoke. “It’s time. You need to kneel, sitting back on your legs with your thighs slightly open.”

At Rodney’s hesitancy, John brushed a kiss at Rodney’s ear, “Trust me, and trust Carson.” Without waiting John placed a hand on each one of Rodney’s shoulders and when he received no resistance he gently pushed him down.

Automatically Rodney’s body moved into the position John had requested. John shifted behind Rodney, adjusting his stance wider so he stood directly behind him with Rodney now kneeling between his legs. Calmly he guided, Rodney’s head to rest on his upper thigh, and tried to ignore the slight tremble he felt run through Rodney’s body. Though it was the wetness of Rodney’s tears against his thigh that he question and spiked his fear. A quick glance down, and John breathed a sigh of relief as he noticed Rodney’s cock had stayed the same, jutting out just as hard.

Still John swallowed a shaky breath, and closed his eyes, replaying his own words he’d promised Rodney, ‘Trust Carson.’ And John did, he just had to hold on. Unconsciously, he started to brush and thread his fingers through Rodney’s hair effectively petting him. John ignored the clock to give them what they both needed, time. And patiently waited until they were both calm.

Long moments passed, and finally Rodney’s trembling had stopped. With a few last caresses John paused before placing the end of the leash in his mouth using it almost like a bit before placing his hands behind his back in a standard parade rest—and waited.

~~~

next

Profile

denyce: Jared waving hey~ (Default)
denyce

January 2017

S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
151617 18192021
22232425262728
293031    

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 22nd, 2017 10:36 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios