Wednesday hump day- & yes a fandom update - I'm writing, woohoo!

[denyce]

Good morning ;)

I had dinner with dad and Jeff Saturday. Dad and I talked though briefly, it was gut honest on both sides. He's a mess, understandably so, but I finally got the point we're not able to really help or be there for each other. Not in a, I don't want to, but rather emotionally he can't and is barely hanging on. Our relationship before all of this happened wasn't great. We were never friends, we rarely talked and when we did it was all surface stuff. Since mom was sick we started to talk but it was always about or around mom now it’s about Jeff. Whether I like it or not he does have a good relationship with Amanda. And obvious from my last post I’m not exactly Amanda friendly these days.

Anyways I finally GOT the point and realized the support and or attention I wanted and was seeking from family, as much as it pains me it’s not going to happen. It just empathizes how much I received from mom - not only her love and friendship but the unconditional support she offered. My brother is in his own hell, living with his choices and the decisions he’s made. I’m trying to be there for him, but he’s already started to isolate himself further. However he did get his job back and has put down a deposit on an apartment – I can only hope he does go into counseling, something I feel all of us would benefit from.

Over the weekend I started to look around for counseling – I’m in serious need!! Just too much on my plate and sinking deeper into depression. Enough that it’s starting to affect my work and I can’t afford to lose any jobs. Yesterday my googlefu was in better shape and I found a few possibilities where they accept a sliding scale. I got a response last night from one counselor and now we’re playing email- tag to set up a date/appointment. ETA: huh, just set up the appt. Sunday at noon.

On brighter side I’m writing \o/ I signed up for a challenge over on instinctivelust, a Alpha/Beta/Omega trope comm. The challenge is to claim a prompt and write a 1k fic. The prompt worked for me and I wrote 356 on it. Then it in a flashback it quickly jumped in a different direction – I already wrote over 3k and I barely scratch the surface. I realized it should be a separate fic as it went into a dirty/bad/wrong direction and had a different energy over the short dark bit I wrote previously. At this point, I haven’t decided if I’ll be posting it under my name or my sockpuppet, either way I’m enjoying the ride. It’s been a long time since I wrote anything =)

A while back I also signed up for Leverage’s thebigbangjob. Initially I was going to write a Leverage/DA crossover, but I recently found this OT3 piece I had started a long time ago and think I might write that instead. I’ll have to play with both this weekend (if I pass on the xover I might write it instead for the
darkangel_bb). I also signed up for the da_reversebang, art claims open this weekend so I’m looking forward to that \o/

So in summary the challenges/comms I’m playing in:

Leverage thebigbangjob: 15k draft due 4-15, final draft May 19th
Dark Angel da_reversebang: 3k draft due 1-19 final draft April 26
CW rps instinctivelust: 1k due before July 1st (can claim addition prompts)
CW rps perverse_bang: 5k due May 18th
Dark Angel darkangel_bb: (haven’t set the dates yet, but there will be a round 3)

Okay I’m off to work- hope you’re all having a good day =)