What's up with this time of year....

[denyce]

*waves* So in the last month or so – exhales!

I’ve debated on whether I should say something or not… It is somewhat ironic that it wasn’t much better last year at this time. For those that don’t know last year (today) I lost both my uncle Jacky to leukemia and the next day Dale a good friend to suicide. I found out about both in one phone call.

This time it’s Dorothy, a client of mine that I’ve had for the last 8 years, though she hasn’t passed away yet… I don’t think she’ll last very long. Yesterday her sister called me in a panic; she’s not leaving on Tues as she had planned but is staying and wanted to hire me on the weekends. Nights in 12 hour shifts that’ll start tonight. Hospice is there, and starting Monday will have other in-home care Mon thru Fri at night. Though Dorothy’s terminal, she had been fighting. I thought with consistent care which she didn’t get except in the hospital or rehab center, it’d have been a bit longer closer to 6 months.

However after seeing her last night, I doubt she’ll last a month if that long.

I’m not a nurse and haven’t really dealt with patients before – besides child care and caring for my uncle Billy who had dementia. I won’t lie it upsets me, watching someone struggle with every breath, in pain, where they just want to die – not fun.

I do gather some comfort that my presence seems to help Dorothy and her sister Jo – for that I’m grateful.

Really don’t get their family though. Dorothy has 2 children, 1 that lives here, only an hour or so away and another sister. Yet, no one wants or plans to come and see her – what’s worse IMO is that even if Dorothy did horrible things in her life that they can’t forgive her for, they do seem to care and love Jo, but not enough to be there for Jo. She’s in her upper 70’s, and they just dumped everything onto her. So she has me. It just seems so wrong and so very sad!

Then there’s Annie a family friend, she has colon cancer it’s not looking good and she’s still in the hospital.

I’m kind of nervous about tonight. I am bringing my reader, laptop etc for when Dorothy’s asleep though she doesn’t sleep much at night- though with the morphine, I don’t know. In either case I doubt I’ll be able to write – more to do with being in the right frame of mind- not that I’m ever in the right frame of mind ;)

I’m not doing bad, just not fantastic either. I’ve already panned the idea of finishing my SPN_J2_ bigbang in time. It’s not an absolute, but I’m also not going to pressure myself and stress out about it. Kind of already have enough stress on my plate, thank you very much ;)

The rest of this weekend looks interesting… first no internet tonight, Easter with family tomorrow for a few hours then trying to sleep at some point to be up all night Sunday. Then back to work on day shift Monday *rolls eyes* yeah interesting indeed!

I do plan to bring fic to read & to work on. If I do write, most likely it’ll be Aloha, or FP. Seems like I’ve had both of them in my head forever; it definitely doesn’t take much effort to get involved in either one. Though will bring everything –especially DA as I have some new motivation for my xover ;)

Okay I’m going to end this – need to do some cleaning then pack for tonight, and if I can take a nap…

Sending U lots of ♥ & those who celebrate it Happy Easter~

I honestly hope each and every one of you have a wonderful day today & tomorrow {{HUGS!!}}

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[raveninthewind]

*sends you strength*